1. |
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my bones without marrow
hanging from chandelier
narrowly escape scrutiny
when i strut i push
freebase mount paranoia
these fucks, they don’t know
they don’t feel snow nights solo
cups that reign Hell fire
betchu boys can’t stack any higher
than your favorite fucking downer
excuse me, i am louder than
pretentious masking cowards
arms, legs, the cross, the scowl
molotov nightmare
how they wanna try and torch me
my katana slicing endlessly
giving in now, think i should flee
get a taste of that tryptamine
ah shit- now look at me!
twitch is gone, the witch’s song
never to return, bitches can’t come along
i don’t care anymore
what’s here now can’t last long
mother’s sweet love- no.
i’ll dance in the morgue
embrace all that had killed me
i hope she
thrown back in this shit, grab hold
the glass where i slip
down and turn about
pop the lid off
where’d the cover go?
now i turn and dip
like joseph smith
withdrawal real
and no martyr
for no masses
hey don’t ask us
pay no matter, to the tattered
folks that drag their feet in ashes
endlessly tired of waiting
for the call that doesn’t come
that isn’t real, that don’t change shit
that only bothers, don’t tell me
stay fucking calm, you don’t know
the lonesome plight, no passage right
the liver burns, fucked up all night
no end in sight
where the lowest lurk and kids don’t dare
the lurid dance, to all- beware
just make it stop.
i’m racing from one kind of world and finding out that this is another
what can I do? what can I say?
any suggestions, mother?
i’m racing from one kind of world and finding out that this is another
what should I do? what can I do?
any suggestions, brother?
so now i lace my solitary boot and i open this door
stepping from uncertainty to become knee deep in ash
the carnival night that lies ahead
the carnivorous mouths i will feed
carnations that are now raped
but i don’t know
but i don’t know
i don’t know
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2. |
Defamed Fatale
03:47
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you say you’re looking for someone
to hold your faux shit hair
to push your plow
i can be the one
just grant me a worm
let her grow and die
my intentions in jest
let me hold the gun
black cement gel
defamed fatale
the one from Hell
i don’t even, i don’t even, i don’t even care at all.
becky please, move with ease
stir my food, just don’t sneeze
i want you in my hair
we’ll have tea, misty glee
holding hands, c’est la vie
ripping out my tongue
push it down, stomp it out
set aflame, fetus death
how i’d watch you die
i was free, Godfuck vows
drowning in misery
premature checking out
haven’t an idea of what i’m doing or where i should go
when i sit alone, i don’t hate myself quite as much
they all want to manipulate me- they change color and shape
she said she liked me for what was on the inside so i gutted my wretched spleen
drinking all the alcohol
saving up for the ball
i’m singing songs that go,
“lah lah lah, lah lah lah!”
swallow blood, i crush the pills
burning roaches on the hill
just let me sing my song,
“lah lah lah, lah lah lah!”
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3. |
Let Me In
09:40
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cracking open wide
a falling into line
receiving my salute
but i’ve never gone
the ultra body trip
nothing could prepare
incense, lack of air
there’s something wrong
the burning of white flesh
the burning of the drugs
the burning of my chest
what else can i say?
it hollowed out my head
invaded in my bed
i follow
because it’s so
thoughts of katrina
linger as i crawl
behind this ugly witch
a night to forego stall
an easy price to pay
no time, forgive all
crystallize our faults
now we sit and talk
but i can’t stand her laugh
her crooked tooth wide smile
dishonest yielding words
i used to linger on
reaching for her throat
i’ll have my vengeance yet
i'll have my vengeance
this is what i came for
this is what i came for
this is what i came for
this is what i came for
i am who you came for
i am who you came for
i am who you came for
i am who you came for
so very obvious
so very obvious
so very obvious
so very obvious
light the candle- ignite
i slit her throat tonight
severed her lips- my might
blood sacrifice- God’s dice
i follow
because i’m lost again
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4. |
Sand Slaughter
06:47
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the taste of lead on my tongue
pulsating frontal lobe aches
accelerate while my heart slows
i am coming down
but really more up than i’ve been in hours
she looks thinner now
and colder than ever
eyes that i knew to shine
dampen, harken with grey
black, red in her hair
stick between my hands and teeth
and my mouth ripe with vomit
pandemonium pneumonia, roam in
charcoal lungs like distilled aquariums
scaring them, choking phlegm, seize this
moment and lift her unwavering torso
i once invaded that is now too
heavy for my gelatin arms
i release my grasp
her skull cracks
our bond unravels
now sprint because i can’t run fast enough
leave her in the bottom of this dump
and fend for myself like everybody else
cut through the dark like stark knife
lightning invite me
i’ve no sight
blinded by bright scythe trees
eyes still glaze with DMT dreams
suddenly i hesitate
as manic thoughts
seep through her
i envy her dopamine rush
the ultra body trip and for
a fleeting moment that i rage
because i am left all alone
blood stained nude- where’s my faith?
my fortitude?
gnashes in my gut that whisper,
“pigs arrive for scraps if you desert.”
pop the trunk, head to the desert
or maybe daddy’s bed
eat her for dessert
discern her anatomy, contraptions
circumstance that keep me from
dissecting and entering
now shuttling, struggling, shoveling saline bones
stuttering, fluttering, muttering abdominal groans
so very stressed i want to die
fuck this shovel
and this grave
and this trip
and my libido
and an empty room
and being aware
and a fit place on the shelf
lay by her side
hold her blue hand in mine
lay rest to my eyes
and submit me this time
reflection haunt watch me in my waking sleep
follow me to my resting place
aches that needles can’t dissipate
born out of my damned natural state
never evade my reflection
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5. |
Katrina
06:16
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speak to me dear katrina
how have you been, where have you stayed?
pure i have been katrina
all of these nights, waiting for what?
i hope you’re alone katrina
hating your hair, regretting our youth
when i call katrina
her thin reply, do i choose to hear?
cause in the morning
we both wake in different spaces
moving past the people we’d once been
i hope you’re shit because i’m shit
if only i could muster up a smile as you do
how are your friends katrina?
staying in touch, collegiate degrees
and your brother, katrina?
traveling light, his nose not so clean
anyone else, katrina?
keeping you safe with warm embrace
it’s okay, katrina
i’m okay
i’m okay
speak to me dear katrina
so that i may know
pure i have been katrina
only for you
i hope you’re alone katrina
so that i may come, so that I may
when i call katrina
let me sing to you like I used to
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